Sick and Tired of Patriotic Whiners

Published in Daily Hampshire Gazette 5/6/10

My big brother recently passed on an email from a Massachusetts legislator which listed everything he was “tired” of. It seemed an accurate inventory of the Tea Party’s complaints: we’re drowning in illegal aliens; Muslims hate us; everyone beats up on America for its invasions of Iraq and Afghanistan; the federal government is an agent of the devil; nothing against Obama’s color, he just hates freedom. It went on and on, and it made me tired too. Sick and tired. So I wrote my big brother back.

Dear Jimbo,
I too, am sick and tired.
Sick and tired of all the whining and moaning from people who won't see past the end of their nose, but call themselves far sighted. Sick and tired of listening to fools who think Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck are God's Chosen, instead of just carnival showmen taking the suckers for all they can get.
Wasn't it our own father who taught us "If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, then baffle them with bullshit!" Well I am heartily sick and tired of the blind and confused telling us their poor eyesight and befuddled thinking is really a direct line to God and the Founding Fathers. In what other disguise would Satan come to Earth, except wrapped in a flag and thumping a bible?
And I am truly sick and tired of the endless cry-babying from so-called adults who insist on believing, with the faith of little children, that only America's excrement don't stink. It used to be a man, an adult, was supposed to shoulder his own mistakes, bear them and bear them well; instead of pointing to others like some mewling and puking baby, crying, "But they did worse than me did!"
Only a child would believe you can be the richest, most powerful nation on earth, and get that way because you love God and freedom -- instead of you kicked ass and took names to get here. (Or worse, really, is the rube who believes we are as we are because God loves America more than other countries -- as if God is some giggling, frivolous cheerleader who prefers jocks to nerds.)
You want proof that the federal government is a force for good? Join the military, or get elected to congress, for 25 years, enjoy the best government-run health care system in the country, good pay and ever increasing raises, then retire with good benefits that no one can steal from you ten years later. And then get another sweet job in the defense industry or as a lobbyist. This is exactly what that America hating, welfare queen marrying, Muslim loving agent of Satan, General Dwight D. Eisenhower, warned us against. It was 50 years ago when he told America not to build what he named the "permanent military-industrial complex" that would suck the life blood out of our future and pour it into defense budgets and lobbyist firms which produce nothing. But what did Eisenhower know, he only saved us from the Nazis AND built America's highway system -- which he had to do over the hysterical objections of good patriotic rubes who thought the federal government had no business linking the nation with paved roads, or who feared the highways would lead to government intrusion. (And if you don’t believe it, you can look it up!)
So yeah, I am sick and tired too: of listening to people whine and bellyache, and call it love of country; of people who put blinders on and call it a crystal ball. Sick and tired of people who look only at their own lives -- stare at their own navels -- and call it a window on the world.
Maybe if we spent more time thoughtfully reading, quietly immersed in books, and less time receiving our opinions from TV and radio, maybe we'd actually be able to grasp what is happening to our country, and ourselves as a people. We are changing, we are evolving -- and you can either get with the fish whose feet are carrying them onto land where there is a better chance of survival. Or you can hang in the water with the Limbaugh's, Becks and Palins -- or anyone you want to mention left, right or center. Evolution knows no ideologies, no human fears nor dreams. It just is. And it is all that there is.
For there was a time when the fish left the sea, and went forth onto the land; and because they accepted change they were fruitful and did multiply. But you can be sure there was a lot of complaining and moaning about that too from the frightened fish so leery of dry land they could not sense the Leviathan shooting up from the depth.
Your loving brother,